don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize