I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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