he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you never un-have a 4some
Terrible idea I love it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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