Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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