Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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