i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize