Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize