soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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