i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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