it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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