I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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