do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize