party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize