What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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