Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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