problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
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Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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