dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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