her vagina looked like bernie madoff
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize