that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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