Screwed.edu
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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