Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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