Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
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You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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