i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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