so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I enjoy the company of your penis
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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