Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize