Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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