Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think i have two assholes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize