This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize