Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize