Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize