i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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