so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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