You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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