Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize