Swine flu. Run for my life!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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