does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I need to stop coming to work sober
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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