She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize