Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I want a musical about memes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize