Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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