careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
