Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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