Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize