I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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