I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize