I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
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Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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