I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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