i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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