no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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