there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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