like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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