how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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